Movie Review: ‘Machete Kills’

October 17, 2013 at 7:00 am | Posted in Movies, Reviews, Star Wars | Leave a comment

While the world raves about Gravity, another movie quietly sits in the background waiting for attention: Machete Kills. In this unabashed, over-the-top B movie, director Robert Rodriguez once again unleashed Danny Trejo as the unstoppable Machete. As a fan of the first film, I was really looking forward to seeing the sequel, and while it fell short, it was still a lot of fun. Most surprising of all was the Star Wars nods.

First off, the cast deserves some mentions. Machete Kills packs quite a long list of recognizable names and actors. There’s of course the star of the film, Danny Trejo, who has been in hundreds of movies (currently 256 according to IMDB). He’s joined by Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Sofía Vergara, Cuba Gooding Jr., Walton Goggins, Antonio Banderas, William Sadler, Jessica Alba and even Lady Gaga. Charlie Sheen is credited under his real name, Carlos Estevez, and plays the President of the United States. Faced against a maniacal villain played by Demian Bichir, the President has no one else to turn to except Machete. Yet Demian is just the tip of the iceberg, as the real villain is none other than Mel Gibson. It’s certainly one hell of a cast.

Charlie Sheen as the President of the United States of America.

Storywise, Machete Kills certainly delivers some fun and some laughs. There are lots of silly, over-the-top kill scenes with plenty of people being killed by helicopter as a running gag. As one would expected, lots of people die by machete. But the movie doesn’t pull any punches as machinegun bras are unleashed and sci-fi guns are unashamedly unveiled and fully utilized. However, the story and the fun don’t quite match up to the same level as the first film. While it does capture some of the magic, it’s definitely inferior. Still, for fans of Machete, Robert Rodriguez, and anything goes B flicks, it’s a fun movie.

The full fury of the minigun bra.

As a Star Wars fan, this movie delivered something I did not expect at all. Out of nowhere, Mel Gibson’s character asks Machete to take a ride with him across his weapons and research factory. Their vehicle of choice? A landspeeder. I laughed hysterically as they two of them began cruising around in a landspeeder. But the Star Wars nods didn’t end there. On top of that, Michelle Rodriguez gets a carbon freezing scene and Machete gets a lightsaber machete. The movie also teases a sequel to be titled Machete Kills Again In Space which features lightsaber machetes and a masked Mel Gibson. Those scenes really made my day.

This was totally worth it. Mel Gibson in Episode VII anyone?

So while Gravity may be the movie to see right now, you might want to consider Machete Kills. It’s not a great movie. It won’t win any awards, and it certainly isn’t meant to be taken seriously in anyway. But it’s still fun. I give it a three out of five metal bikinis and recommend catching it at a matinee price if you’re inclined to some cheesy, B movie fun.

Here’s to hoping the sequel sees the light of day.

Reviewed By: Skuldren for Roqoo Depot.
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